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01:13am 02/11/2007
  I started a new journal for no real reason. You may add me if you like.


(Scream in horror)

01:46pm 22/10/2007
  You know what was fun, watching the Sands hotel & Casino implode. Although the city was unbelievably packed with people and it was hard to find a good place to stand at first. My brother, our friend Paul and I pushed our way through the boardwalk, Paul and I blew smoke into old people’s faces, you may or may not know this but old people can really push when they want something. I couldn’t believe that they actually had a VIP section setup, a cheap ass looking red carpet and blinking cones, security and the whole shit. They had a fucking platform lift for the VIPs to watch the building go down, probably had all sorts of good shit in there like a shrimp and lobster and all sorts of expensive crap. We pushed our way on to the street and found a pretty good view, I pissed off some girl at a motel when I asked her if we could get roof access to get a better view, when she said no I pulled an egg-roll out of my pocket and offered her that in exchange, this pissed her off even more. I guess people get a little angry when strangers pull Chinese food out of their pocket. The building went down and the fireworks before were amazing, the fireworks shot out of the building itself.

We then inhaled quite a bit of stuff and almost died. Even though we were parked like four blocks away the car still got totally covered in shit, and some black dude almost smacked right into us while were trying to get out of the city.

I started working yesterday at Old Navy, it sucked, I had to be there six thirty in the morning which meant getting up at four thirty. Even though this was not the job I was hired for, I informed several mangers and by the end of the day it was decided finally to re-work my schedule and call me back. Whatever.

Halloween is soon I can’t wait.

(4Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

When you feel everything is wrong rest a sure that all is still right with the universe   
01:21am 17/10/2007
  That’s interesting isn’t it, that statement holds a great deal of truth to it don’t you think? No matter how bad things are in the great scheme everything is perfectly right. The universe is a magical thing, it has so much force, and it puts everything into place at the right time. I wandered for a bit tonight, not very long just thirty or forty minutes. I say wandering instead of walking because walking is just the act of moving but to me wandering means a whole lot more. Wandering is a form of searching for nothing, and you can find many secrets hidden away in nothing. People over look so much as simply nothing and when they do this they miss the greater picture, in something as meaningless as a slug on a cheap beer can in the gutter you can find the answers to inner peace. Being happy is of course not everything, it is also very important to balance happiness with misery. For the two are not whole on their own. We should not seek eternal happiness but everlasting peace. Accept that everything you do matters, that every action effects someone, or something and someone or something’s world changes because of it. Accept your faults and mistakes, embrace your imperfection, and open your mind and soul to the universe. Take the time to stare at the stars, or wander the streets. When doing these things never think about something, allow your mind to find the thoughts. Allow your inner self to reach deep down and dig out ideas, hopes, dreams and fears you never knew you had. Do not force answers to anything, they will come in time if you open yourself to the possibilities. Life is not a road but a river and the more we fight our way up stream the worse it gets, STOP! Allow the current to take you, eventually you’ll find yourself where you need to be.  

(Scream in horror)

10:16am 12/10/2007
mood: artistic
It is cold at last. This is a very good thing. I enjoy the cold very much; it reminds that I am human. That might sound strange but it is very true, the chill shocks my nerves to life and I feel alive. It makes me think. This should be a very good winter, or so I hope, I have been applying at several jobs and am waiting to hear back, working again would be nice, money would be nice, I have many things I’d like to buy, not to mention the fact that I wish to save to get my own place, and I’d very much like to go cross country next year at some point.

I have been working on a film script which has been very exciting for me, I haven’t finished a script in almost two years, and am happy to say I am enjoying this story, though nothing may come of it, it has been a very fun experience. The house has been a little hectic lately as a friend of my Brother has been crashing on our couch the past few nights, he may be leaving today we’re not sure, he was kicked out of his house and has no job, and his girlfriend has a child on the way. Yes, this has been an interesting few days, the crashing friend mixed with the parties and the crazy girl stalking my brother has all make for excellent life.

I haven’t been sleeping lately; I only slept for two hours or so last night and have since been watching Twin Peaks. In one last note I have sworn off the drink for a while, booze cloud the mind and keep one from reaching a true sense of inner peace and personal perfection. Anyway I shall return to watching TV and writing, and then the day lies ahead of me and hopefully many more stories.

(Scream in horror)

Let’s all go to the lobby and have a bite to eat.   
10:10am 08/10/2007
  Hey there hi there, screw off! I’m just sitting here chilling; I wanted to take a quick break from writing. I’ve been working on a movie script, just for fun at first but I’ve found myself really getting into it. I’m not quiet sure how to describe it, and I can’t really tell if it is any good, but it’s been kind of fun just to write a script again, I’d love to film it, so if anyone out there knows anyone who might be interested in helping to make this film please let me know. I posted a little taste of the script under the cut.

Love. Scum. Hate.Collapse )

(Scream in horror)

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.   
01:40pm 05/10/2007
  That quote has been stuck in my head all night. Last night was interesting to say the least, but somewhat fun. I spent a good chuck of the night with drunken teenagers laughing at how stupid they act. I sat outside with my brother, and friend Paul, me and Paul smoked a few cigs and talked about how much these kids needed to go. One girl get crying about how much she loved some dude, but the guy wouldn’t talk to her, she called him crying over and over again, it was almost sad. Children do not yet realize what love is, and it is very sad. My brother and I took two of` the drunk girls home and then returned to our friends house to help clean up the small mess.

The other night I spent a lot of time watching the stars and thinking about history. I thought about how many people to not understand how much amazing things we will see in our lifetime. In twenty-one years I have all ready seen so much history, and will see so much more before my life is over.

I met a crack whore the other night and got slightly depressed for her, twenty-six, with six children back in Baltimore. How do some people let life slip away from them?

Anyway I am heading out to the mall in a bit to hopefully buy some new clothes and do a little script writing.

(Scream in horror)

Everything comes down to poo   
11:35pm 18/09/2007
  I think I may be getting sick, either that or the change in the weather as begone fucking with me. Oh well I guess I'll have to deal with it, although this feeling has given me writer's block which really, really hurts. *SIGH* I bought a new iPod the other day and it arrived today, I lost my old one in the move back from the hell house. My new one is much cooler anyway, I paid 250 for the old one and it was 30gb and only held like 7,500 songs or some shit, the new one I paid the same price for but it is an 80gb and holds like 20,000 songs so that's not so bad, I still want to know what happened to the other one, it was only a little over a year old. Whatever, shit happens, I'm going to read 'Rant' tonight and screw around with this iPod and enjoy the Scrubs Musical episode soundtrack.  

(Scream in horror)

11:49pm 13/09/2007
  Sometimes life sucks and is great al at once, right? Maybe, I don’t fucking know shit like this. I’ve been having insomnia again, which sucks, I’m getting these pounding feelings behind my eyes, stress maybe? I hope I can start working again soon, but that is taking to fucking long to go to a full time deal. I was thinking about going to work at another movie theater, not my first, or even fifth choice of a job but an old teacher knows the guy who runs Regal and was asking me if I’d be interested in theater work again. I need to relax more, which is hard to do since I pretty much do nothing but relax, and I hate the move Angel Eyes which is on the fucking TV instead of X-Files which sucks. God I’m tired, and my back hurts and I think I’m slowly dying. Fuck this shit mother fucking, fuck faced fuck.

If you get the time anyone check out my blog.

(1Cries for Help | Scream in horror)

A long post about a lot of bull shit., thankfully my brains are still in my head.   
10:16pm 03/09/2007
  The summer is over at last and I have decided to have one last BBQ, originally intended to be a housewarming party, but now instead is a farewell to summer party. Here is why. The summer started pretty good, laid back not much to do, I have come to grips with the death of my mother and was enjoying the warm lazy days working on several writing projects. Halfway through I started working a few days a week preparing to go full time sometime after the summer. Then an apartment opened up, could this finally be, life falling into place? Brandon’s grandmother has a small apartment she would be willing to rent to him, myself and Mirian, freedom at last. We could hardly wait to get in and look around, see where we planned on putting are stuff, excitement bubbled within us. However for some reason the crazy old lady would not let us see the place, this seemed strange, I have known this woman for as long as I have Brandon and had never seen this side of her. No matter, finally we were able to get a look at the place that would soon be our new home, a sad day that was. The apartment was a shit hole, with mold and fungus all over the walls. We got to work cleaning and painting, although Brandon rarely decided to show up and help, instead he complained endlessly, pissed and moaned, and sometimes made problems worse. I stuck it out, slaving away in the apartment though, through fights with Mirian and fights with Brandon, I stuck it out. Some mornings I’d get up and seven go to work and go over there until ten at night, sometimes later. But I did it. I finished painting, I redid some walls, and finally moved my stuff in, oh happy days. I should mention that through the whole fixing the shit hole of place up I did have to deal with the insane old woman bitching about every little thing you can think of, including the fact that we wanted to put up our own blinds, and use our own dishes and cups.

Also there was the couch we brought and the fact that she had informed us we could have nobody over including Mirian’s own brother. We ignored it the best we could and continued the moving process. All though there were days when I wanted to call it quits, mostly those long days working my ass of to fix the place while Brandon did nothing but sit on his lazy ass, of course he had work and couldn’t call out to help us because he used up all his sick time, understandable except for the fact that he called out to lay on the couch at his father’s and watch TV and then again to take a trip to New York. But me being the good guy I am let this all side until today. After much more insanity from the old woman I finally broke when she began going through our trash, Mirian and I were already living in the apartment, only three days, but we were there and happy for the most part. We didn’t enjoy the woman trying to walk in to the house; thankfully we lock the doors, and could not stand that she would peer through the windows. But after the trash and her complaining about our cats I had had enough. I called Brandon and told him he either does something about her or I’m leaving. I called him twice to drive my point home but he made it quite clear that he didn’t care how crazy she was or if Mirian and I did not move in. I let this roll off my back figuring I would talk to him later tonight when he came by with more of his stuff but realized I did not have the address to the apartment and wished to order food. I called his cell phone, then his house phone, nothing I tried both again thirty minutes later and again nothing, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and figured maybe they didn’t here the phone after all they were having a party. An hour or so later, after finding the address and eating it was time to get ready for bed, Mirian has school in the morning and I have work. I called his cell again and then his house to see if he had his key so I could lock up, again no answer. So Mirian called his house at which point his mother answered the phone and after a long moment he got on not to please to being taking the call. He said he had his key and that was that. Or was it. Now Mirian and myself were quite pissed off about the whole situation, the refusal of him to speak with her, and her refusal to give us our space, after all were paying for it. It became clear that this would not work out, his grandmother had dropped little hints that she did not want Mirian or me there, so why should we stay where we are not welcome? After a good hour of rage boiling deep inside me I grabbed a box and began packing. Brandon came by with more of his things at which point I informed him the place was all his and went on packing. His mother came in, we went to the grandmother and I told her I was not moving in because of her. She claims she gave us privacy and had done nothing wrong.

She said she’d give me my money back and that was that, I am still packing now, and still quite pissed off, pissed off enough that sleep does not seem to be an option. Life goes on a new from here; I am done with Brandon for the time beings and shall beginning looking for a new place for Mirian and myself here on the Island. I will have my BBQ and enjoy good times with good people, I will go about life as it was and work towards the greater goals just as I always have.

(3Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

To tired for a subject name.   
10:57pm 25/08/2007
  Haha! Three more days and it shall be finished, all the remains of course is the internet and cable hookups. I needs me some Showtime in my life, I'm a season behind on Weeds, I need to watch the rest of Meadowlands, and Dexter season 2 starts soon I believe, I've all ready seen the first two episodes and they were pretty good, don't know how they'll hold up to the second book (Dearly Devoted Dexter.) Well it is all falling together, I still have some large things to move but they will be easily done in the next few days providing I don't have to go to work. I can't wait to I can go full time, the winter will be great I hope, it shouldn't be too busy and I'll get to sit around and bullshit with the crew and get paid for it. One of the waitress's said to me a few weeks back "Chris why aren't you working here, we need you." I thought it was funny, but I understood completely what she meant, there is a lack of family there now and I am a small change to that. There is sort of sense of pride it being brought it, mainly because I asked to. I would have never, ever asked them for a job, but they asked me which feels somewhat good. Other then that I have a new cat, and a new blog filled with dark fiction. Depression sets in every once and a while but nothing I can't handle. Well time to shower and get ready for bed.  

(3Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

No sleep.   
03:26am 24/08/2007
mood: tired
I just took a goddamn nap in the bathtub, why because I need to go to work at the fucking store today, so I figure why sleep, I said to myself "Chris, you have to be there at seven thirty, so why go to sleep." Fine I watched the X-files, the X-Files is a good show, but then I got tired, so again I said to myself, "Chris, if you go lay down in bed you won't get up," so I said, "what should I do?" And I told myself, "take a nap in the bathtub, maybe read a chapter or two of Dexter, come on man everybody is doing it, come on, don't be a pussy, come on." So i gave in and took a goddamn nap in the tub and now my back hurts, and I'm still tired, and I still need to find someone who can make pretty pictures for my web comic, and I need to have a party soon.

(Scream in horror)

06:06pm 16/08/2007
  Fuck life. I need to kill myself. I am sick of all this shit. Christ on a Jesus ass ball. I can't even put my anger, depression and hate into words.  

(1Cries for Help | Scream in horror)

*SIGH* Shit, shit, fuck and shit.   
10:17pm 07/08/2007
mood: annoyed
Shit! It has been a long while, and life has been a crazy tailspin of insanity. Packing sucks ass, painting sucks ass, cleaning sucks ass, fuck it moving sucks ass all together. Not to mention working with immigrates blows, and before you start in with your ‘oh he is so racist, blah, blah fuck,’ try standing in a room for eight hours with a bunch of people who understand English but refuse to speak it. Not to mention to nothing but talk shit on you because they for some reason believe that they are the only people who understand Spanish not realizing that half this country learns it in middle school. Then they freak out when you report the fact that they don’t do the job properly because they are unsanitary. And since they think no one understands them they brag about how they don’t wash their hands and have head lice. It is a fucking sad state of affairs. Fuck climbing the ladder; I might just go back to the casino. To top this week off I have had barely any sleep.

So to recap, moving into an apartment, working, not sleeping, oh and trying to set up a website because the people who said they’d do it never showed up and stopped answering their phone. Also the artist they hooked me up with totally dropped the fucking ball. Yeah life is fucking peachy. The only plus side is my new cat, but even him and his brother brought a shot load of trouble. After two days of running around a friend took on of the little kittens and Mirian and I decided to keep the other one, our other two cats are finally warming up to him, right now all three of them are trying to catch a fly.

Okay, wow that felt good, now it’s time for a cup of tea, a smoke, and a bit of writing.

(2Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

Well here we go again.   
11:22pm 01/07/2007
  (Let's try to keep the bullshit out of my journal and in the bowl this time, thanks.)

Christ on a half shell, I just got over a horrible cold, which consisted of mostly unbearable coughing that kept me up until the early hours of the morning. Last week was hell, I spent it coughing, reading and watching movies, there was also several times that my brain near exploded. Things have cooled down a bit, writer’s block has past and some, but not much work was done.

I watched the new Doctor Who today, and wonder how such genius can exist in the world. As of now I am watching El Topo, he is the Mole, El Topo is the father of midnight film and should therefore be great.

Anyway I don’t feel like typing anymore since my life seems to only be interesting when in motion, but upon replay it is quite dull. I think that my life is so fantastically interesting that to try and put it into words would cause not only my mind, but the reader’s soul to melt.

One last thing, go to this website and join, it’s for your own good.


(1Cries for Help | Scream in horror)

To Drive my point home   
03:37pm 20/06/2007
mood: annoyed
All right fuck this all, when I post a thing about a BBQ I get a shit load of comments about Jeremy and Nikki something I don’t give a good goddamn about, but when I post about the hurt and heartbreak of the death of mother I get a few “I’m so sorrys,” no you weren’t sorry, the only person on LJ I can safely say showed any actual care for my well being was Paula. The rest of you come out of the fucking woodwork to read my journal only when it’s about something that has nothing to do with me. All of you take your stupid ass fight someplace else, I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t give a shit.

Fuck off. Sincerely Chris.

(10Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

10:49am 18/06/2007
mood: awake
Whoo the weekend is done. Friday was all about getting ready for Saturday, and Sunday was about recovering from Saturday. There was like fifteen people here Saturday for my BBQ, we ate, we drank, we just had a good fucking time. Everyone really enjoyed themselves. We started cooking around six and we finished up by one or so, there’s not really much to say it was just laid back good times, you’d of had to been there. Anyway here’s a nice group shot of good people, having good times.

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And here is one more.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

(24Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's an UPDATE!!   
10:48pm 14/06/2007
mood: drained
I’m alive and tired, and my head hurts, but it always hurts anymore. I think I’m dying, my book is coming along nicely, but not smoothly, I hate working through all the bumps in the road. I really hope it will all be worth it in the end, but things are rarely worth anything. I need a job sort of, I don’t really want one, but it would be nice to have a little extra cash flow in my pocket, something part time I guess would be nice I don’t know.

I started reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, I’ve never read anything by him before and always thought of him as a dime store Stephen King, but this book is pretty damn good, dark yet light. The characters are fun and strange, so for it has been a pretty good dark comedy.

I’ve been trying to write some short stories recently but I just can’t get the words flowing right, this comic project as taken up most of my creative juices, it’s more of an evolving black hole than a comic at this point. It’s kind of fun though, some nights I find myself trapped in this world I’m building and I can’t sleep because it is all I can think about. Anyway I need to go and see if the Fresh Prince is on because that show is hella funny.

(Scream in horror)

I'm back   
12:48pm 07/06/2007
  Chicago was fun, there were many a things to do there, we saw four different museums, and ate at some great restaurants. The food in that city is a million times better than anything around here. We walked all over, and so Sue the most complete Dinosaur skeleton in the world. And my Aunt’s apartment was amazing, she lives on the 34th floor, and the view was unbelievable, looking it over the lake, we spent most nights on her balcony smoking cigs, and bullshitting. My Uncle took us to his casino, which I never knew, but he runs the whole fucking show so I ate myself a nice ninety 90 porterhouse, I would have liked to stay a bit longer but I’m sure I’ll go back someday, either way it’s nice to be home.

I took a nice walk today, and will spend the rest cleaning up the house. I have some writing to do and I’ll do it bit, by bit throughout the day.

(Scream in horror)

I will never Die   
09:54pm 24/05/2007
  Netflix refuses to leave me alone about rejoining their awesomely great site; I may have to rejoin just to shut them up. Also I have no bathroom and no girlfriend, Mirian ran away to a place with a working toilet and shower while I’ve been sticking it out with WaWa and a garden hose, how delightfully white trash. There was a leak in the bathroom so they had to tear the whole floor apart, which lead them to tearing the walls and ceiling out leaving all within this home to wonder when the fuck we can have a restroom to call our own again.

On another note I have contacted some artist and am waiting for a responds for my new book but I don’t want to jinx it, maybe when the script is done I will post a few pages here. The web comic I was working for lost their U.S. host so now I have no idea when my story will see the light of day, I’ll have to get in touch with the editor soon, plus I still need to mail out my contract, anyone know how much it cost to send something to the UK??

Today was a pretty good day I did wash and hung out with some old friends, but now it is time to watch the Man who fell to Earth, because Bowie just kicks ass like that.

Before I go here are some pix I took, I like to think they have a great feel to them.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

(2Cries for Helps | Scream in horror)

Short and sweet   
11:03pm 22/05/2007
  I’ve decided to take the summer off from doing anything except writing, I’m working on a new project which is moving along quite nicely, the script is nearly finished but an artist still needs to be found. Other then that things are the same; I’m leaving for Chicago in a week to visit my aunt which should be a nice escape from here. Anyway I’m going to watch a movie and enjoy the cool air of the fan. Smell you all later.  

(1Cries for Help | Scream in horror)